


If You Would Let Me In

by horrificPhysician



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, High School AU, M/M, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 07:15:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6185527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horrificPhysician/pseuds/horrificPhysician
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I could be good with you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Would Let Me In

**Author's Note:**

> mentions of hallucination, implied suicide attempts and medical scenarios. 
> 
> context: wade is a teenage delinquent with a good heart, peter is a nerd in the school paper who's very in love. friendship comes quickly, though wade is still the mysterious rebel who's self conscious about scars that he hides in a bush of blonde hair and hoodies. peter's determined to get through to him.
> 
> more notes at the end

Peter's gaze switched from Wade to watching him move the character on the screen, as he leaned back against the wall, knees up against his chest, his head resting in his hands. 

He could feel his hands sweat and his mouth go dry as he looked at the older boy, feeling his heart beat faster in his chest, and his stomach turn knots. It felt like every organ inside of him was swelling, close to bursting and his head was overcrowded with various thoughts of the boy in front of him. 

Wade was on the floor, leaning against the bed, his eyes glued to the TV screen, clutching onto the plastic remote like a lifeline. He must be operating some complicated move, as his posture was more forward and he was muttering soft words of encouragement to himself as he kept playing. 

"How can you play with all that hair in your face?" He asked innocently, in an effort to distract himself. Wade glanced over at him, a cheeky smile barely visible through his mess of blonde hair.

"Why do you think I'm so focused? I already beat this easy mode. This is hard mode, just to impress you." Peter grinned back, quickly glancing away, feeling his cheeks burn a little. "Plus you don't need to see what I'm hiding under here.” He finished, turning back to the TV, his tone suddenly cynical. “That's at least fifth date material."

And then they were silent again, Wade’s attention was back on his game, the only sounds between them coming from the TV. Peter gripped onto his knees, scratching his fingernails against the denim, glancing down at his feet and slowly picking out his words before he spoke again.

"Wade?" He started, looking up.

"Mm?" 

"You always have your sleeves rolled up, so I can see your scars there."

"Riiiiight." He drawled, absentminded. 

"Is it worse on your face?" He probably shouldn’t have worded that so bluntly. 

Wade shrugged, not turning to look over at him, concentrating on the game. "There's less burns. Less visible ones. More scars from fucked up skin grafts though. It's not pretty. I don't wanna unload that on you." He said, in a casual tone that made Peter’s heart sting. 

"Okay..." 

Then they were quiet again.

"Wade?" He spoke again, filling the silence. 

"Mm?"

"Can I ask what happened?"

Wade’s shoulders tensed up a little, and he paused the game, looking over at Peter. Typically, not being able to make eye contact with someone older and stronger than him would have been intimidating, but Peter hadn't felt intimidated by Wade since they had become friends, and it wasn't different now. The lack of eye contact didn’t really make the exchange feel less awkward though.

"You really wanna know?" Peter nodded, and when Wade stood up to sit on the bed and lean against the wall next to him, he didn’t mind the closeness. "And you're not gonna...freak out or anything? Not gonna treat me different?"

"You know I wouldn't."

"Yeah...just wanted to know." He tipped his head back against the wall, his hair falling just slightly from his face, letting Peter see the sad smile. "It's quite a tale, so get comfortable."

"Okay, so, Mom dies first and then Dad died a few months later. Mom was natural causes, Dad wasn’t. Little Wade’s left all alone to fend for himself. It's not awful though, they weren't exactly perfect anyhow. So I have this place, I have a car, I have a job and I got enough money to look after myself, it's cool, it's fine. Life's easy street.

“But, just when everything feels okay for once, I go to the school nurse cus I've been passing out and feeling weird as hell all around. And she refers me to the hospital and I’m like 'well shit, something must be wrong with me' and when I go, Doc tells me 'yep, sorry wade, but you have cancer' and then my mind just goes.” He emphasized this point with a snap of his fingers, and a quick tap against his forehead. "Gone.

“I mean like completely blank for a good three weeks. I don't go to classes, I don't go to checkups or whatever. I barely eat. I just go fucking static. Mind's completely fucked. 

“So I decide one night to get into my car and I'm speeding down the highway, and I'm hallucinating like shit. All the voices in my head are screaming over each other, like one half is all “wade, you fucking moron, get out of the car” and the other half is telling me “do it, do it, kill yourself, you’re dead anyway” and I crash into a fucking tree, right? BOOM!” He emphasized this point by motioning an explosion with his hands. 

“Fire fucking everywhere, pretty sure it counted as an explosion, eff-why-i. Anyhow, I black the fuck out naturally. Next thing I remember, I'm in a hospital room and everything fucking kills. My body, my head, my skin, everything. I feel like I'm dying, I'm tearing bandages off and seeing all this shit but like, ten times worse. Fucking gnarly as shit, man.” He paused again to motion at the scars on his arms. 

“And the nurses come in and hold me down. Not in the sexy way either, in the 'this guy is mentally unstable way' and they tell me what happened and inject me with a ton of shit to calm me down. I'm lucid as fuck and they tell me I'm gonna be in hospital for a few more weeks so my burns heal and I can get skin grafts and shit.

“So finally, after all that happens, our mutilated hero gets to go home. I’m healed, I’m on new brain meds, I’m all fucking good. I go back to school, go back to work. D’ya know everyone assumed that I was dead, thought the cancer got to me extra quick? Got a free pass on all the shit I missed, fuckin’ rad. But, y’know, everything is normal again. Except now people don’t try to start shit with me, cus I was the guy that survived a fucking explosion.” He grinned, looking satisfied with his retelling of the epic story while Peter was quiet for a second, taking all of it in. 

“Hey, Pete, you still with me, man?” Wade obviously thought not having an immediate response was a negative sign though.

"How long ago was that?" Peter finally says.

"Mm, three years, give or take a few months." He said with a shrug, scratching at one of the burn scars on his neck. "I don't really keep track."

"And do you still have cancer?" Blunt as ever, Parker. 

"Mostly, no. They cleared me out about a year ago, said I was good to go! They gotta check it out every few months though, just to check that all my cells are okay. But I'm clean. Be a pretty depressing story if I wasn’t, right?" He said with a chuckle.

"...Can I please look at you?"

Wade frowned gently, and Peter regretted asking but he turned to face him anyway. "Tell me why. If your reason is good enough, I'll consider it."

"I just...I don't know. I sorta wanna see the guy that went through all that. I feel like I should shake his hand or something.” He offered. 

"I'd rather you just pretend what I looked like.”

"Well, in my head, you look like a cross between Kurt Cobain and Breakfast-Club-era Judd Nelson. That might just be from the lone badass ‘tude though." 

"Fuckin’ wish I was as pretty as Kurt Cobain." He muttered with a small smile. "Tell me the truth though, you need material for your jerk off fantasies, right? You can be honest with me, man, we're friends."

Peter smiled with a little laugh. Wade wasn’t exactly wrong with that assumption though. "If that's true, will you show me?"

"Hm, maybe. It's only fair, exchanging fantasies and all that. It might turn you off though, I can’t be blamed if my gnarly face kills your hard on."

"I don't care."

Wade shrugged gently, and let Peter reach up and pull down his hood. His shoulders hunched forward, his head dropped, which made his hair fall back into his face. Peter hesitated, the sudden sense of vulnerability from the older boy showing an unwelcome change of character, not wanting to risk pushing him where he didn’t want to go. Peter reached out to touch his shoulder, just as an affectionate gesture, and the older boy quickly caught his wrist in a gentle grip, his hand slightly shaking.

"Wade..."

"Just...don't freak out, okay? I’m more sensitive than I look."

Peter nodded his head, reaching to hold his chin, gently jerking his face up, allowing their eyes to finally, truly meet. 

From first glance, he noticed Wade's eyes were light blue, almost grey, and were filled with an unexpected kindness and a momentary sense of vulnerability that he hoped wasn’t permanent. His eyebrows were dark and close knit together with worry, and a white faded scar broke the left one into two. Numerous scars littered his face, a large, thin burn stretching across his cheek from his jaw to his hairline. 

There were less burns than his arms, as he had said, and more light scars from skin grafts, little white lines scattered between each patch of burned skin. He had a dark cut on his top lip, something that looked fresh, different from all the faded marks. Peter slowly, not wishing to overstep any boundaries Wade may have had, cupped his face, fingers gently stroking the soft skin, and the older boy let out a soft sigh, one of an almost sad kind of relief. 

“What’s the damage then?” He murmured softly, breaking their eye contact.

Wade's face was an interesting sort of beauty, full of life and energy, sort of battle worn in the best kind of way. He had the look of a man who had faced everything that life could have possibly thrown at him, and was adamant not to give it up so easily again and his scars perfectly reflected that. His scars showed perseverance, determination, so many admirable qualities that Peter would have loved to list for him. He was incredible, he was beautiful, almost, and Peter was filled with an insatiable urge to kiss him, before he said anything to ruin the perfect moment.

Without another thought, he pressed his lips against Wade's, the older boy first letting out a small sound of surprise at the sudden contact, before melting against his touch and moving closer into the kiss. 

It was sweet, without any sense of purpose. And it didn’t need any purpose. It was as close to perfect as he was going to get.

Peter moved closer to him, his hands moving behind his neck, as Wade's scarred hands dragged down his sides to his hips, urging him gently into his lap, deepening the kiss. It was soft and gentle, without any uncertainty or regret. The difference between their two bodies made Peter's head swim with want, the contrast between Wade's muscle and his own lean build, light skin against dark, soft and experienced touches against unfamiliarity. 

Feeling like they had kissed for hours and barely seconds at the same time, Peter was the first to pull away from the kiss, and when their eyes met again, Wade smiled brightly, without any sense of cynicism or irony, and he couldn’t help but smile back.

“Well, that's something for the scrapbook."

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this is really just an experiment for myself. i have an idea for a super long high school spideypool fanfic, set in the 90's (truly the best time) and i just wanted to know if i can write these characters or not, cus i actually really enjoy writing them. just don't really feel confident yet.
> 
> i'd really appreciate any kind of feedback on this, it's been sitting open on my computer for ages and i just wanted to put it somewhere.
> 
> also, if this is ooc in anyway , i'm literally just writing off the movies. and i haven't watched the spiderman movies in about ten years. if i pick this up, i'll be doing my research though, i promise!
> 
> tumblr is two-chi.tumblr.com if you wanna hit me up any further
> 
> ray x
> 
> (the title + the description is a reference to the heathers musical yes i'm one of those people)


End file.
